Sail Away

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Posts by Sail Away

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  46

  Books I read when I deprogrammed

  by OrphanCrow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  blondie suggested someone start a thread with a list of books that are valuable to read when exiting the jws.. i will start.. i left the jws way back in the early 70s and didn't actually deprogram until into the 80s.. one of the first books i read was "the orwellian world of jehovah's witnesses" by gary and heather botting.

  canadian exjws from calagary.

  an excellent book and one that still resonates with young people today.

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  Sail Away

  After jwfacts.com and Crisis of Conscience:

  Shepard the Flock of God (2010 Edition)

  The God Delusion, by Richard Dawkins

  Captives of a Concept (Anatomy of an Illusion), by Don Cameron

  Leaving the Fold, by Marlene Winell

  Books that later helped me to understand cult mind control:

  Combatting Cult Mind Control: The #1 Best-Selling Guide to Protection Rescue and Recovery from Destructive Cults (2010 Edition), by Steven Hassan

  Releasing the Bonds, Empowering People to Think for Themselves, by Steven Hassan

  Freedom of Mind, Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs, by Steven Hassan

  Even later in my personal recovery:

  Take Back Your Life, Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships, by Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias
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  157

  What Was The Silliest "Offense" That You Were Counseled For?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i was a teenager, i was told by an elder that because i smiled a lot and was known for my good sense of humor, that i should come across as "more serious".

  so before i was appointed a ms, while in my late teens, i transformed myself into a much more "serious" brother.. were you ever told that you needed to work on something that you knew was stoopid?.

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  Sail Away

  Counseled for breastfeeding (completely covered with a blanket) in the main auditorium because it was too tempting and distracting for the brothers carrying the mics. The elders wanted me to nurse in the ladies room. I told the elders when they started having lunch in the mens room, I would nurse my baby in the ladies room. We compromised, and the second school was turned into a baby care room.
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  22

  Years ago son raised a few years as a JW. Now struggles with depression

  by Check_Your_Premises in

  1. social
  2. family

  background:.

  i spent some time here awhile back as an unbelieving mate of a jw wife.

  i learned a lot, and was able to be supportive and understanding when she decided to leave the jw.. unfortunately, my son seems to have internalized many of the jw teachings.

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  Sail Away

  The nightmares in particular are interesting to me? Did they follow a basic theme?

  I have post-traumatic stress disorder, not all JW related, but three of my recurring nightmares were.

  One was an evil-looking eye that stared unblinking at me from down a long corridor. As a JW I felt someone was always watching me (God, Satan, parents, elders, etc.), and I never felt good enough.

  The second was about getting beaten and tortured in a Nazi concentration camp. This possibility was emphasized pre-1975.

  The last was of me and my unbelieving family being engulfed in flames at Armageddon.

  Sparrowdown is right. Your son needs education. After reading JW facts, Crisis of Conscience and The God Delusion, my nightmares stopped, never to return.

  I had years of counseling before exiting that were worthless. JWs are taught to never speak about "spiritual matters" with anyone but elders. Therapists can't help under these circumstances.

  The therapy that did help me greatly post -exit was Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It is skills based and helped me greatly in making my way in a world that was so foreign to me. It helps tremendously with identifying black and white, all or nothing thinking, teaches assertive communication and mindfulness to help with distress tolerance.

  PM me if you like.

  Diane
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  10

  First Jehovah Witness talking about 1914 and "NO SOLICITING" money 

  by TheWonderofYou in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzhof73nwvy.

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  Sail Away

  What a f*ckin' lunatic!
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  155

  Survey: How long were you in the cult vs what year you were baptized

  by ILoveTTATT2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi people,.

  i want as much data as possible on the effect of the internet on the time captured by the cult.. please answer the three following questions about yourself or about someone you know (for example, if your parents or grandparents were jw's and left).

  1) were you raised as a jw, or did you convert?.

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  Sail Away

  ILoveTTATT2: I think this would be an interesting stat that has never been done before. I am certain that the results will be that the internet significantly reduces time in for everyone. A graph of "time in" vs year would be very insightful. I am sure that there will be more "lifers" in previous generations, and much less now.

  My problem is that your survey doesn't question whether the Internet was a key factor in leaving the organization earlier or if it was a factor at all. Several posters, including me have stated that it was not a factor. I'm curious as to why it is you think that this is the key factor? Why not any one or combination of the following or some other unknown reason:

  Increasing control from the top down-- I knew with every fiber of my being that contact with DF'd/DA'd family members for "essential family business" only would give way to no contact before it was even put in print, and I walked away not knowing TTATT.

  Stricter rules on shunning-- When I got baptized (1976), the teaching was you could have normal family relations, just not talk about "spiritual matters". I left because I refused to shun my son.

  Significant increase in "New Light" (How can "The Truth" change so often over time?)-- there have been non-stop and significant doctrinal changes and flip flops together with random inane restrictions. From my perspective, after being involved for over four decades, JWs just don't know what they believe anymore.

  Child sexual abuse in church communities increasingly reported in the media-- I knew of at least two pedophiles in my former congregations. It did not escape my notice that this was not being addressed by JWs.

  Just my 2 cents
• 
  28

  Sundays without the indoctrination session...

  by Tornintwo in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what are you doing instead of the meeting?.

  i'm ordering cool personalised pressies for all of my non jw family online, whilst listening to some great 80's classics (currently fade to grey, visage).

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  Sail Away

  Meditation. Morning coffee. Walked my dog-- beautiful, warm December day. Grocery shopping at Fresh Market-- nice and quiet on Sunday morning! Bought ingredients to make a cheesy crab artichoke dip for volunteer organization Christmas party next Saturday. Wrapped Christmas presents and boxed for shipping. Did some invoice editing for my son (He's profoundly dyslexic.) He bought his boss's marine rigging company over Thanksgiving week. We're so happy for him. Did some work in Adobe Lightroom with photos from Thanksgiving week with our son-- working on backlighting/shots of rigging work in Pirate's Cove, Galesville, MD on the Chesapeake Bay. Dinner of pecan-crusted cod with steamed broccoli and a glass of white wine. Reading Cooking Light cookbooks, because my cholesterol is too high, genetic, argh. Life is good. No pressure. I can breathe. Oh, caught up on Facebook! Saw video of my grandson-- he's crawling! Also, following Cappytan's exploits IRL! Totally jealous!
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  155

  Survey: How long were you in the cult vs what year you were baptized

  by ILoveTTATT2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi people,.

  i want as much data as possible on the effect of the internet on the time captured by the cult.. please answer the three following questions about yourself or about someone you know (for example, if your parents or grandparents were jw's and left).

  1) were you raised as a jw, or did you convert?.

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  Sail Away

  Also, with my family's example, even though our children left after far fewer years in than we did, their exits were in no way related to use of the Internet, nor were my husband's and mine. There does seem to be a flaw in the premise of the OP.
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  155

  Survey: How long were you in the cult vs what year you were baptized

  by ILoveTTATT2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi people,.

  i want as much data as possible on the effect of the internet on the time captured by the cult.. please answer the three following questions about yourself or about someone you know (for example, if your parents or grandparents were jw's and left).

  1) were you raised as a jw, or did you convert?.

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  Sail Away

  I copied my original post for you above. Not sure how you want to do the math. Yes, hubby began his fade approximately 5 years in to our marriage in 1984. He was baptized in 1965.

  *You based your guesstimate on a post that is over 4 years old. ;)
• 
  155

  Survey: How long were you in the cult vs what year you were baptized

  by ILoveTTATT2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi people,.

  i want as much data as possible on the effect of the internet on the time captured by the cult.. please answer the three following questions about yourself or about someone you know (for example, if your parents or grandparents were jw's and left).

  1) were you raised as a jw, or did you convert?.

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• 

  Sail Away

  
  

  Sail Awayan hour ago

  1) were you raised as a JW, or did you convert?
  

  Converted at age 9

  2) when were you baptized/started seriously being with the witnesses? (Date please, i.e. 1997)

  Baptized in 1976, age 16 (I would have been baptized at age 10 if my father had allowed it.)

  3) when did you leave/woke up completely? (date please, i.e. 2013)

  2011

  Please do the time difference between 2 and 3...

  35 years from baptism to exit

  Mr. Sail Away:

  1) were you raised as a JW, or did you convert?

  Converted at age 5 with parents

  2) when were you baptized/started seriously being with the witnesses? (Date please, i.e. 1997)

  Baptized age 14, 1965

  3) when did you leave/woke up completely? (date please, i.e. 2013)

  Left 1984

  Learned TTAT 2012

  Please do the time difference between 2 and 3...

  Physically in baptism to exit 19 years

  Mentally in from baptism to learning TTAT 47 years
• 
  155

  Survey: How long were you in the cult vs what year you were baptized

  by ILoveTTATT2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi people,.

  i want as much data as possible on the effect of the internet on the time captured by the cult.. please answer the three following questions about yourself or about someone you know (for example, if your parents or grandparents were jw's and left).

  1) were you raised as a jw, or did you convert?.

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  2. 
  3. 
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  Sail Away

  Thank you, Sail Away!
  How about the answers for yourself and Mr. Sail Away?

  Scroll back several posts. They are in a separate, earlier post.